Self leadership for Business Leaders through 1:1 or Peer Group Executive Coaching

Mike Pelfini — 24 February 2023

Self leadership can be developed through 1:1 leadership coaching or peer group executive coaching, per Dr. Mike Pelfini, ForeMeta Coaching.

“Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.” –  Lao Tze

As a 1-to-1 executive coach at ForeMeta, and a Vistage chair for peer groups, I know this for a fact: If you cannot lead yourself, you cannot lead others. 

How to achieve self leadership?

Self awareness and self knowledge can be acquired and improved through coaching

“Leadership’s First Commandment: Know Thyself… No tool can help a leader who lacks self-knowledge.” – Harvard Business Review editorial.

No one can learn about themselves by sitting alone and just thinking.  As social animals, we all need others to be our extended self, to be our critiques, observers, and sounding boards. To gain insights about ourselves and about how our personalities and personal styles of messaging and leading come across to others, either 1-to-1 coaching or peer group coaching can help. 

Once Individual leaders know their own strengths and weaknesses, upon developing self awareness and self knowledge through coaching, they can then learn about self leadership and  to grow themselves first, before leading others. 

Emotional intelligence is an important part of self leadership

“The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me.” – Viktor E. Frankl

Emotional self regulation is a vital part of self leadership. It is one thing to know oneself, it is quite another to be able to control oneself, especially during crisis situations.

“The first and best victory is to conquer self.” – Plato.

It takes discipline, willpower, techniques, and most of all, tenacity through trial and error. Again, having a support system can make a great difference.

Self Leadership requires lifelong learning

“Research shows that the two primary reasons leaders fail are because of failed relationships, or because they fail to continually learn.” Forbes. “Ongoing leadership success is mostly determined by one’s ability to develop advanced self-Leadership skills which enable one to better navigate important, complex, and relational situations.” Forbes.

Those who do well with self leadership have a love for reading, learning and sharing new information with the people they lead. Not surprisingly, they tend to surround themselves with learning enthusiasts as well.

Goal setting and planning with focus, and implementation with discipline  

Goal setting is a part of exercising leading oneself. Goal setting is not once and done, it needs constant course correction and accountability.  A life of accomplishment starts with weekly, monthly, quarterly, and annual goals.

Staying on track of one’s plan is also a process of prioritizing, focusing, and refocusing.  Implementation of planned goals takes self discipline, and in so doing, one is realizing self leadership by actions.

Learning to say “no”

“Self leaders have learned where to direct their time and energy, and where to delegate.”  (

Learning to say “no” is another acquired trait for leading oneself – delegating tasks will free up your precious time and resources to focus on leading instead of doing everything yourself. 

Learning to collaborate and build teams, and setting new leaders up for success is the advanced version of self leadership – to replicate yourself, and expand your leadership power exponentially.


ForeMeta is a place where business leaders learn about self leadership and about leading their teams and organizations. We offer both individualized coaching or group coaching.  Please contact

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